WHEREVER YOU ARE

Before a noose became a noose

It was just a piece of rope

 

It’s things like this that give me hope

That we’re all just dancing around on this crater

Waiting for that chance to become something greater

Than what this life turned us into

 

You were just an atom before your were born

Like atom and eve you were torn from roots of your mothers flesh

And stretched so far at birth that just your own entrance

Felt more like a closed door and

You forgot all the things you knew before

Like what color miracles are

Or how far one has to go to find herself

To remind herself that it wasn’t too long ago that

You were hungry for stars

 

Now your eyes are a leaking pipe

And to this day, you cant patch that hole right

So at night, you leave out a bucket

So you can collect your tears and say fuck it

If I’m ever gonna leave this world behind

I wanna do it in a tsunami of suicide

 

Your cheeks always look like stained glass when you cry

Which makes me wonder why your eyes don’t rise

Like the Sistine chapel when they’re dry

 

Because I hear that michaelangelo guy can

Paint a decent ceiling but wouldn’t know shit about healing

Unless he knew about falling from his ladder

But you know about hearing the earth shatter

 

You knew about trying to survive by hiding from the outside

Before you mastered your ABC’s or how to climb trees

You knew that some things you have to believe to see

 

We were twenty-three

That summer we smoked so much pot that even an austronot

Would say “that’s too high”

The same summer I said I’d rather die that take space from you

I cried, Has Appollo 13 taught us nothing other than when people go

They blow up and decombust

 

You said love I know this is tough but must you be so dramatic

And I said static electricity is an imbalance of charges within a material

And if we’re all just bacteria on this planet then your leaving would off put the balance

And has flubber taught us nothing other than, don’t play with science

So stay

But you were always one for defiance

So you said no, I gotta go

But before I do, write me a poem

So I took a pen to your throat and I wrote

 

Before a kite became a kite

It was just a piece of paper that wasn’t cut right

And before the world knew you

It was just a bully throwing rocks at god

Saying is this the best you can do

 

Wherever you are

I hope you're smiling 

I've never been good at much

But getting that curve to erupt upwards across your face so God could trace the line and keep it in his collection and say "oh so this is perfection"

 

I know that when God made your heart

He said I'm gonna start

Charging for my creations 

Because not even salvation itself is as

Beautiful and this life right here

The day you were born god had himself a beer 

For the first time

Said usually I prefer wine

But you are like bud lightning in a bottle and I wanna go full throddle towards you

 

My momma raised me saying

Do as the good lord would do

So I’ll head towards you too

I can't say you're a goddess 

Cause I don't believe in deities 

And I wanna believe in you

 

But wherever you are

I hope you’re smiling

 

Because before a pencil became a pencil

It was just a stencil of a seed that grew into a tree

But never believed that it would help someone read someday

I know we agreed one day that I would back off and let you have the say

On whether or not you still found value in living

But my grandmother told me that giving second chances taste like butterscotch 

Just watch the way someone's lips will curve into a smile if you

Pile on reasons you believe in them, it’s not a sin that

 

I want you to hold me the way you held your first violin 

 

I want you to begin by striking the bow against my skin

 

I want you to play me like a church hymn that sinned the night before it got to the choir

 

I want you to know that you and I are both hard wired to do stupid things

 

But dust off your heart strings

And flip the record that sings “I’m ready for round two”

 

Because it was you who told me that love was in the details

So I never failed to notice that when we were holding hands

I couldn’t tell where my fingers ended and yours began

 

Before people were people

They were just a pile of cells

Which tells me that we were all once a part of each other

Just fluttering around in space with no trace of my body or your body floating away

 

Just every body

Looking for a reason to stay

 

So I know it’s been a while

But where ever you are

I hope you’re floating around

I hope you’re smiling